Mamma, This one's for you

When Sweety(my sister) completed her Xth , we decided that she and Mamma would join me in Ranchi . After a lot of search, we got a decent two-room habitat ( I don’t know what to call it…it could not be called a flat…for sure). Everything was finalized, but not on paper. When Mamma and Sweety finally arrived with all the luggage…we found that the owner had given the rooms to another person…for Rs.200 more. We were shocked. How could he?? Where would we go now?? Our classes were starting 2 days later. I went blank. Sweety is too innocent to think of anything of this intensity. Papa had to return soon to resume his office. The owner offered us a room in the backyard…..a single room….with a downward slope so that water won’t come out naturally ( we realized it when it rained…and anyway did we have any option ???). And he was not being generous ……we had to pay for it.

Have you ever felt Homeless???....... I have.

We would have broken down if Mamma was not there. She assured us. We also somehow believed that she would be able to get a Home for us. I was feeling like a helpless kid. It was not that Ranchi had ran out of ‘houses to rent’….. We didn’t have enough money to afford them. Our schools had started. Mamma sent us to school every morning and then went out to search…..for a place to Live. She used to walk all day….wandering about in different colonies….asking every owner. Some rejected outright…some demanded too much rent…..some asked ridiculous questions before rejecting. She used to get back in time for lunch….our lunch. She did not eat. The second half of the day passed the same way….Mamma ( this time accompanied by us) searching. We got another room …a single room….after 10 days of being in HELL. We hoped for things to improve….they did…in the sense that….it was a good room to live. But the owner …. a lady this time….strongly believed in…A Landlord should trouble the Tenants……come-what-may. We were forced to bank upon Tiffin system for our food ( believe me….you will start loving the mess food here once you taste that). Anyways after spending some 15 days there we could find a proper house and our problems were reduced.

Those 25 days taught me a lot. I learnt from LIFE itself. I learnt from my Mamma. Even in case of extreme hopelessness….She never panicked (at least she didn’t show it). We used to get our strength from Her. I learnt that one can be absolutely alone in this Big, Bad World …. with problems in hand. And I learnt that they could be solved…Mamma taught me. I learnt the importance of money and, for the first and the only time in my life, I wished we had more money. I learnt how shrewd, heartless, cunning and dirty people can be. Those days left a deep impact on me. I witnessed the Strength of a Mother. I used to feel the protection Mamma gave us. We had forgotten to smile. We didn’t want to come back to that place. We didn’t want to talk to each other. Those are the darkest days of my life till date.

But….. Mamma didn’t break and didn’t allow us to break. I hold myself responsible for all these sufferings to Mamma and Sweety….and I want to say Sorry to them. ...... I had underestimated LIFE.

I don’t know why I have written all this……perhaps just to say…….Mamma , I Love you and I am Sorry.