New Year version 2007 beta

An year with a guarantee that my life will not be the same anymore.
An year which will define my course of life.
An year which will decide where I can be found 10 years down the line.
Welcome 2007....let's rock together.
But first of let's spare few moments to bid farewell to your younger sibling.... 2006 A.D.
An year which had started with a hope of getting an internship abroad...but nevermind.
An year which gave me my first 9 pointer.... thank you.
An year which gave me an internship where I learnt a lot.
An year which found me a long lost friend.... love you for that.
An year which unearthed the creative side of mine.
An year which showered me with honest and very nice compliments from even unknown quarters.
An year which strengthened some bonds beyond any fatigue whatsoever....I'll be indebted to you forever for that.
An year which made me understand myself a bit more than ever.
An year which ended with a promise to lead me to MY HORIZON.
An year which was .... Pretty Good...to say the least.
Good bye 2006... it was nice being with you.... will miss you throughout my life....love you.
Me and my wingies are bidding you farewell with a candle-light err....daaru-party(drinks) :D
....don't worry folks... I won't drink.
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I know it's cliched...but nevertheless....a tradition...so....
MAY THIS YEAR BRING WITH IT A LOT MORE THAN THE HAPPINESS,SUCCESS AND PROSPERITY THAT YOU WISH FOR :)

[BTW the 'beta' in the title is 'coz this new year will be 'Happy' in real sense when I'll get a job.]
c ya

I m My Name

He loves to spread smiles.
He is very laidback.
He gets easily absorbed by the crowd.
He remains unfazed by any adverse situations whatsoever.
He is witty(people say so).
He doesn't talk trash.
He hates show-offs.
He can't stand tears.
He carries a very hard shell around him and very few have been able to sneak in.
He prefers his eyes to do the talking.
He is all for peace...everywhere in this world.
He is a hard-core Optimist.
He wants to be on top of a mountain, arms spread, eyes closed..... welcoming the Sunrise.
He is a dreamer.
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Good Morniiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiinnnnnngggggggg Blogeteria.
Aaj ki sabse badi khabar ye hai ki....yours truly DAROGA is BACK!!!!(the bang will follow soon)
"chaar haar se ghabra kar ladna chhor dena, (quitting the fight after four defeats)
raat lambi hui to subah ki aas chhor dena, (losing the hope of morning after a slightly long night)
manzil na dikhe to chalna hi chhor dena,(dis-continuing the journey if the destination isn't in sight)
gar ye jeena hai to phir marna kya hai." (if this if life....then what's death)

"He's laughing...She's laughing....everybody is laughing.... Take your happiness out."
c ya

Have a Kit-Kat

I desperately need a break. Enough of frustration. I am going home sweet home tomorrow morning(15th) and will be back in a week.....hopefully rejuvenated, fresh, energised.
Till then.... all you sweet people ..... do take very good care of yourselves.... and keep smiling :)
c ya soon

Game on

Which is worse:
Not getting shortlisted for any job interview which makes you feel that you are good for nothing or getting rejected after the final round which makes you feel that you are not good enough.

Which is better:
Not getting shortlisted for a job interview which may mean that something better is in store for you or making to the final rounds and missing by a whisker which means that its just a matter of one extra step.

Well..... I am still to be shortlisted. I don't want to say anything else. I am definitely not happy. I am sad but in no way in a bad state of mind. I don't know why am I feeling low when Job is the last thing I want to do. Perhaps 'coz of the ever-active question: "What if?".
Yesterday we had fixed ourselves in front of the company's room hoping to get shortlisted. Some did make the list. The rest..... refused to move their butts. They tried.... and tried...and tried.... to have them take a second look at their curriculum vitae. It was Begging 'Corporatised' with the rags being replaced by proper formals, the begging bowls making way for the executive folders and the deplorable and pitiable facial expressions turning into plastic smile and artificial energy.
I couldn't go to them and talk like that. If a company feels that inspite of being from a related department, having a good Cumulative Grade Point Average, having held 5 different positions of responsibilities during my stay at Kharagpur, being actively involved in dramatics, choreography, antakshari, amateur movie-making, having won prizes at IIT and IIM, I still am not suitable for them.....then I would respect their decision. I have to wait and wait will I.
But there's one fact: I HATE REJECTIONS. period.
....................................
"Mom..... next time Job le k aayenge" (Mom...next time I'll return with a job")
...........
"Beta.... naukri le k jaldi aao" ( Son.... come soon with a job")
.....................................
Yesterday .....
A part of my vision was searching for the horizon.
A part of my heart wanted to break down.
A part of me wanted to hold on to someone.
Yesterday I felt an absence.
.......................................
Any way.... it's a new day. I heard that the 'good news' has left for its destination. It's just a matter of time. BTW there's a break in the placements now and will resume on 26th december.

I want to dance. Anyone wanna join me??

Un-Placed !!!

9 days and 2 more rejections later, I am back .... Still hopeful…. and most importantly…. Alive. No no….. I don’t possess suicidal tendency whatsoever…. so please get rid of any thought of that sort (if it came to your mind). I am at ease because job is the worst case scenario for me. But still … I want to get shortlisted at least ( and get a job at most :D ) in the first 5 days…. Izzat ka sawaal hai yaar !!!
Placements start from tomorrow (5th dec). 3 days….. and some of us will get their dream jobs. The rest ….. will recall phrases like :
“Ummeed par to duniya kaayam hai…lets not lose hope”
“Jo hota hai … achhe ke liye hota hai ….. lets have patience”
“Samay se pehle aur kismet se zada kisi ko nahin milta….. lets wait”
My first hope is on 10th (I am still to be shortlisted for that)…. and I believe in each of the above phrases.
Never lose Hope.
Have patience.
and…..
Wait for the good news. :)
Till then…..
Keep visiting
C ya soon

I believe....

Yesterday(in chronological order)…..

Exams got over .
Got rejected by Company 1.
A friend back in school days called after 7 years.
Got rejected by Company 2.

“main roun ya hansoon……karoon main kya karoon”

Neways…. Let me tell you all a little incident. I was filling up the form for a company few hours before my exam in the department.

“a Adarsh Shekhar…”

He sounded like my batchmate…. So I didn’t bother to look up and almost blurted out “bol” but then settled with a “hmmmm”

“You don’t have exams today?”

Why is he asking that?? I looked up and…… to my utter surprise …. He was my Supervisor.

Moral of the story: EYE-BELIEVE.

Talking about beliefs….. all of us believe in one thing or the other. In lay-man’s vocabulary… Superstitions. More often than not there aren’t any reason but yes….. people do believe…. Some feebly….some very strongly (jai (k)ekta maiyya ki)

I am also one of them…… gradually shifted from the strong domain to the weak one.

Over the years…. I have had many superstitions. But ‘due to unavoidable circumstances’, I had to let go of them sometimes. Let me recall some of them….

1. I don’t shave during exams. The latest exception was on my 22^nd Birthday (Birthday tha yaar…..). I think this harms me a great deal. When everything goes fine, enter the bloody exams….. I appear (accidentally or not) before my probable GFs in my jhingalala avatar and then…. FULL STOP.
2. I give all my exams in the same set of clothes. [All my exams == all papers of a particular mid-sem or end-sem.] I have a particular set of formals… in which I have given my 2^nd JEE, GRE, TOEFL…. a mid-sem /end-sem sandwiched in between.
3. I used to do a mini-puja , with agarbatti and all, before exams till my second year at IIT. This is not exactly a superstition but I used to start the sequence of bath-puja-dress-lunch-exam at approximately the same clock-hour before each paper. I still follow the same sans the puja.
4. Apart from exams, the other thing in which I followed some superstitions was CRICKET + TEAM INDIA. [The recent run of Team India is responsible for the previous sentence being in the past tense]. Here also my superstitions were restricted more or less to my dress. During the World Cup 2003, I changed my dress after India lost to Australia in the league (actually I didn’t mind changing my dress after that match) and watched all the remaining matches of my team in the same dress. It worked you see….. India won 8 consecutive matches except the Final. ( I never claimed that superstitions always work :P ) That was my contribution to Team India’s campaign in the World Cup.

In the late 90s this belief of mine was stronger. I remember sitting in the same posture till India won in a match in 1998 (I can give you the details but all of you would not connect to it).

Another instance that I remember is when Australia toured India… 1996 or 1998… I don’t remember now. I watched the first match (that India won) in a pink half-shirt. On the day of the next match, my mom forced me to have a hair-cut and she was prepared to wash that shirt too. I tried hard … but you know how moms are. I had to go. But I couldn’t let my team lose just like that. So I returned from mid-way and told mom that some dogs chased me and I couldn’t go further.I couldn’t save the shirt from being washed but yes… I managed to save some luck for my team by not cutting my hair. I was a good fan … you see.

So these are some of the few superstitions that I follow(ed). And I, hereby, TAG all of you to share some (I won’t mind All) of your superstitions…..hee-haa-haa-haa.
Okay….its on your wish but Godiva, Darsh and Cardamom are officially Tagged.

I am waiting……
C ya

end? ... not really

Have end-sems ???
have a break..... have a kit-kat or dairy milk(my favorite) or 5 star(again my favorite) or nething your favorite.
c ya after 24th.
till then....
be happy (not that u shudn't be after 24th though [:)])
be cool
be calm
be everything one shud be
and most importantly...
be Your Self.
and of course....
Keep Smiling :)
Milte hain break k baad :P

Circuit ..... in and as....

You must be kidding if you are an Indian and you don't know circuit !!
For everyone else: Sorry folks.... I felt this language suited the best.
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CIRCUIT :Kya Hero …. Kaisa chal rahela hai sab?

HERO : sab theek hai yaar.

CIRCUIT :aur Heroine??

HERO : ------------------------------------------------

CIRCUIT :abhi samjha. Heroine k waaste aisa sookhela baigan maafik shakal banayela hai.

HERO : chhor na Circuit.

CIRCUIT :bol de bidu. Wo …. Bole to….. aisa type ka baat ko dil mien nahin rakhne ka…khaali peeli bheje ka weight badhta hai. Chal bol. Apun tera friend hai re.

HERO : ------------------------------------------------

CIRCUIT : abe bol naa. Abhi saala apun ko nahin bolega to kisko bolega.

HERO : yaar…. Aaj mera career ka itna important screen test tha. Select ho jaata to career kahan se kahan pahuch jaata. Last round tak select hua.

CIRCUIT : (mouth wide open) Phir….

HERO : phir nahin hua naa.

CIRCUIT : (ghoda haath mein) tu naam bol us screen-tester ka. Abhi saale ko 6/1 se 2/3 karta hai apun.

HERO : nahin yaar…. Usko main nahin pasand aaya hoonga. Rehne de. Baat wo nahin hai.

CIRCUIT : To phir…..? abe itna time kyun leta hai tu….. express mein bol naa.

HERO : bolne do naa yaar. Hadd hai. Select nahin hua to dukhi to hoonga naa. kitne din se mehnat kar raha tha. saara kaam-dhaam chhor ke. Sab khatam hone k baad usko fone kiya…. Socha ki thora baat karoon…apna dukh baatoon….bol…kuchh galat kiya?

CIRCUIT : nahin

HERO : aur fone par kya sunta hoon….ki uska kisi friend k saath jhagda ho gaya hai…. Wo bahut dukhi hai….main select nahin hua…isse koi matlab nahin hai. Apni friend ki padi hai. Ye kya baat hai.

CIRCUIT : Abe bas itni si baat??

HERO : itni si baat nahin hai yaar. Ye to ek episode hai. Baar baar aisa hota hai. More often than not…jab bhi I needed her…. Wo nahin thi.har baar uski apni problems rehti hain. Har baar usi ko shikayat rahti hai ki time nahin de paa raha hoon. Mere bare mein kyun nahin sochti wo. Mujhe nahin chahiye aisa relation. Main akela hi theek tha yaar. At least kisi se kuchh expect to nahin karta tha. Kya zaroorat thi saala ye sab mein padne ki.

CIRCUIT : tu ne baat ki usse?

HERO : mujhe nahin karni. Nahin chahiye kuchh.

CIRCUIT : a hero… tu wo saala …… over-react kar rahela hai. Ek baat bata…. “I love U” bolne ka pehle itna socha tha?

HERO : tab ki baat aur thi circuit. Tab to…

CIRCUIT : apun ka question ka answer de. Socha tha itna ??

HERO : nahin

CIRCUIT : to phir ab kyun soch raha hai? Jab saala sochne ka time tha tab to sapno mein udi maar rahela tha. Abhi saala jab real mein aaya to baith k ro raha hai.

HERO : lekin…

CIRCUIT : apun abhi finish nahin huela hai. Sun chup-chap. Ye jo tu baniye ka maafik len-den ka baat kar rahela hai naa… ‘usne mujhko kya diya’…. ‘maine usko kya diya’ ….. abe dukaan khol k baitha hai kya? Apun yeda hoga… but love apun bhi kiyela hai….. ya bole to … apun ko bhi love huela hai. Apun Maria ko love karta hai. Bas. Baat udharich khatam. Apun hisaab nahin lagaata hai ki Maria apun se kitna pyar karti hai ya Maria apun ko kitna ghanta time deti hai. Agar kal ko apun se 2 kidnapping miss ho gaya to apun kitna dukhi hoyega… lekin agar us time Maria bolegi mere ko jhumka la k de… to apun layega… 2 baar sochega nahin. Ek baat bolta hai apun… concentrate se sun-ne ka….. jis din tera khud ka…. Wo kya bolte hain tumlog ka language mein….. haan…. self….. jis din tera self uske self se upar aa gaya naa…. Tabhi samajh lena ki chemical nahin…. Mental locha ho gayela hai.

Kal agar Maria apun ko pehchaane bhi nahin naa… tabhi bhi apun usko utna hi love karega. Apun love karne se pehle naihn socha kuchh… he he …saala kuchh pata hi nahin chala tha ….. he he…… to phir kabhi nahin sochega. Arre maamu…GOD ne tumko dimaag aur dil alag alag diya hai….. to alag alag use karne ka. Sochne ka kaam dimaag ko karne de…. Dil ko sirf LOVE k waaste reserve mein rakhne ka. Phir koi locha nahin hoyega.

Tu ne ek baar socha ki wo kab se dukhi hogi? Ho sakta hai wo bahut din se dukhi ho aur tere ko kuchh nahin boli ho kaahe ki tera screen test kharab na ho jaye…. Socha tu aisa kuchh? Poochha usse kuchh?? Bas… idhar baith k question-question khel raha hai saala. Ye pyar nahin hai maamu. “I Love U” bolna bahut aasaan hai…. “I Love You” maintain karma bahut mushkil.

Tee-taa-taa-too-ti-taa-tee-taa-too-ti ……. Le baat kar usse.

Shekhar....... Daroga Shekhar

I don’t think anyone except my batchmates in Patel Hall of Residence, IIT Kharapur knows why I am called Daroga. Many have asked me and its time now to oblige. But before I begin, let me caution you…. If you read the content below hoping for a mystery a la The Bermuda Triangle to be revealed, you will certainly be very disappointed. So my advice is… read it… just read it…. without any kind of expectation whatsoever.
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20^th July, 2004
I entered Patel Hall of Residence at the beginning of my 2^nd year. ‘I was terrified’ would be an understatement ‘coz Patel Hall is the most notorious and therefore infamous Hall in Kharagpur. Any Kgpian would testify that. After the initial week of peace as in calm before the storm, all the 2^nd years were subjected to what is called ‘Orientation Programme’ (the Kgp lingo for you-know-what). I am not going to divulge the details here…. you people are smart enough.

So as part of the ‘OP’… we had to play footer in the evening. The whole batch was divided into two and 7-8 players were selected to play. The rest cheered for their team… and bullied the opponents and their supporters… all verbally. And the seniors would watch the fun from the 1st n 2^nd floors, occasionally pouring buckets of water on the supporters to enhance the fun.
It was one of those evenings. I was happily (?) cheering my team when one of the seniors asked one of us to ‘invade’ into the other camp.

“Kaun Jaayega??” (Who will go?)
We all looked up and my eyes met with his.
“Tu jaa. Abe... isko ghusne mat dena” (You go. Don’t allow him inside)
So I went. I mean… I had to. After few seconds of hustle and bustle, I decided to use gravity to my use. However strong a guy might be… if you let ** kgs of weight on him just like that…. he will fumble. I did just that…. the weight was my own. The 4-5 guys in the front fumbled and I was in………victorious.

“Bahut sahi. Ab udhar se.” (Very good. Now from that side)

The poor guy from the other side failed.
After the match we were all lined up. That senior asked me to pull down the shorts of any one of my batchmates !!! Again …. I had to. I looked around for a guy who would not thrash me up later… and I found one. With great hope that he had an extra layer of protection on, I closed my eyes and…………….

“Sorry yaar” (in whispering mode)

“Abe bahut sahi. Tu aaj ka champion hai. Aaj se tera naam Daroga.” ( Excellent. You are today’s champion. From today your name is Daroga.)The name stuck….just like that.
Today I am known as Daroga in Kharagpur. It feels strange if someone calls me Adarsh in my Hall. (Abe… naam nahin pata kya) (Don’t you know my name)
So that’s it. This is how Daroga captured Adarsh.

P.S. ---- For all those who don’t know…. Daroga means Inspector.

Run time error

The last thing I remember is that I have been walking. And I am still walking. It seems years, but it may very well be ages. Am I tired?? Certainly Not. I think I have just started. I can't get tired... at least not now.... for I have to retain my energy... I'll need to run later. I wish I could fly. There's my destination....right in front of my eyes.... The Horizon..... where land and sky meet. Yes, I want to get there. I want to step into the sky. Enough of this land. No, I am not fed up. Its just that I want to explore the world above. The sky has always fascinated me... and now I am on my course to feel it.
I think I have planned my journey well enough. There's still a lot of energy left in me to take me through. I think I can run. I think I should run. Yes, I WILL run. I can't wait to get there.
I am running. I heard someone say "O my GOD... He's sprinting !!!" May be I am. I need to get there as soon as possible. I can see the horizon approaching. Yes....I am nearing. Few moments.....one leap..... and I'll be in the sky. How would I feel then?? On Top of this World.... Absolutely ecstatic. But there's a distance, though little, that still needs to be covered.
Am I tired?? Physically... Yes. Mentally..... as fresh as ever. Will I be able to reach there?? Of course .... YES !!! Its right in front of my eyes. There it is... the beautiful sky.... all azure and so very pure. And I can also see the land....... wait a minute......... the land COMING TO AN END ??? I mean.... how?? Tbey said land and sky meet at the horizon. No one told me about the huge gap that is staring at me now.
Should I stop?? I don't know.
Can I stop?? I am unable to !!!
Was it the right path?? It doesn't matter anymore.
Is there anyone behind me?? Absolutely No one.
Did I make a mistake.... I think I did. I should not have sprinted.... for I can't stop now. I think I was better off ..... W........A.......L........K___________ .
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The last thing I remember is.......falling. Its been all WHITE since then.

What if?

"to... baat kahan tak pahuchi?"
"arrey kuchh nahin yaar.... "
"kya kuchh nahin.... sach sach bol... feelings hai ki nahin?"
"mmm.... haan hai"
"phir.... bol de jaa ke"
"hatt.... abhi thore naa.... lets see where it goes. jaldi kya hai"
........................................
I could not define the 'feeling'. I needed time to understand what it exactly was. Then one day I got to know that she chose someone else.
"Oh great !!! so..... sab pakka?"
"abhi nahin.... we need sometime... but yes... we are working on it"
"Humlog se baat karna band to nahin karegi naa"
"Agar usko kharaab lagne laga to...."
I was having the toughest lunch of my life till date. I had to use all my self-control to prevent myself from breaking down. I didn't know what kind of feelings I had for her.... but at that time I felt like a BIG loser.
I came back to my room.... with a maelstrom in my mind. I didn't even know why was I reacting so vigorously. All I knew was.. I was restless.
I asked myself....
"What exactly do you want"
"to be her very very good friend"
"sure?"
"mmmmmmmm............... ya"
"then where's the problem? ..... be with her .... everytime she needs you.... make her smile all the time.... enjoy whatever time you are together..... tht's it. .Is there nething else you want?
"No"
I was feeling much much better the next morning.
......................................................
Almost two years hence... we are the best of friends. We have spent some precious time together.... been there for each other in difficult times. And yes... we have also fought... at times. I am very happy with her as one of my best friends. Few mothns from now... our lives will be taking different courses. But before that.. we'll make all the moments left.... Memorable ones. I had grossly mis-interpreted those 'feelings' .... or better to say... I had 'wanted' to mis-interpret them. But you see.... GOD is kind.

R-29 L-28 S-24 W-30 T-111

Well.... all those who r still scratching their heads to decipher the title.... plz refrain from doing so coz u'll never know that it's the key-code of my Swiss Bank Account. So plz don't waste your time.
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I have just been back from home after attending "Chhath" , most popular festival of Bihar n Jharkhand. It is a festival of Well-being, devotion, wishes, n all. It is the only festival where Sun god is worshipped. Mothers do "Chhath" for the well-being of their children. It is also a festival of contribution. Everyone is free to contribute in whichever way (s)he may desire. There are rules associated with it, but they are quite flexible. The only thing it demands is 'pure intentions'.... everything else is adaptive. Let me take you through the "Chhath" at my home......

Mom making the Chulha(stove) for making the prasad


Women at Work.... prasad in progress


All set to go to the Ghaat for the sunset


Offering Arghya to The Setting Sun


Setting up the Kosi for the night


Waiting for the Sunrise with the Kosi re-set at the Ghaat


Offering Arghya to The Rising Sun


Chhath over.... returning from the Ghaat


And this is the e-prasad for all of you

Am I acting like a Brand Ambassador of Chhath ?? No... its just that I don't know when next would I be able to attend this greatest festival of us Biharis .
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BTW .... the title of this post ... when expanded.... becomes.......
Reading-29 Listening-28 Speaking-24 Writing-30 Total-111
That's my TOEFL ibt Score :)
Keep smiling......

W for Weird.....

This in honour of the lovely(read: weird) tag that one fine moment Cardamom decided to gift me. :)
So, I have to write 6 weird things about myself.
Weird !!! and ME !!!!!!!!! and that too SIX !!!!!!! Cardamom has gone mad..... hence proved :))
But TAG diya hai to nibhaana to padega naaa..... so I m putting here the search results.

1. I get very (raised to the power N) irritated when my PC gets ill. The weird part is the value of N.
2. I can eat N (not the same as the earlier one) number of eggs in a day. The weird part is ... again.....the value of N.[:D]
3. I love the smell of petrol, kerosene, paints and the likes.
4. Sometimes (okkaaayy.... many a times ) I don't look into the eyes of the person who is talking to me.
5. I sing alongwith the songs I listen to.... trying to get my vocals in resonance with theirs. BTW I have a verrrryyyyyy bad voice...but still. :)
6. This is the weirdest..... Sometimes I contradict myself..... both in principles and in act. Okay...lemme give an example ...... I hav very strong likes and dislikes but I can adapt very well. There are other examples also..... not popping up in my mind right now.
   

Whofff !!!! ho gaya yaar...... I am Un-tagged now :)
I can't tag ne1 now coz the ones whom I can tag are either too old(in terms of blog-age) to have escaped this tag till now OR Cardamom has already tagged them.
Lage raho.......
c ya

To Visakhapatnam….. and back.

·The journey in the hot n a bit humid climate without any type of conditioning whatsoever…… Okay.

· Showering a girl, who happened to be in our compartment and seemed to be a school-going one, with all sorts of Gyaan ranging from ‘American political system’ to ‘our favorite train journeys’ to ‘practicality vs imagination’ to ‘where we would like to see ourselves 10 years down the line’ etc. etc. etc. as we were preparing for the “speaking” section of TOEFL ibt ……. Priceless.

· Continuous bantering of yours truly by D and company ……. LOVELY :)

· Riding Kinetic and totaling 400 kms in 4 days on the very beautiful National Highway 5 amongst the Eastern Ghats with Bay of Bengal running parallel….. AWESOME!!!

· Having a minimum of 3 and a maximum of 7 non-veg delicacies in our meals….. HEAVENLY!!!

· Exploring caves and valleys ….. HOO-HAA ( in our Kgp lingo)

· Losing my way while going to the test center….. he he he he

· Telling each other answers( the questions were same!!!) when there was a power cut during the test (yes… they had no UPS!!!)….. Yo KGP !!! (we were all KGPians there :D )

· The test center……. Absolute S***

* The test ……………………………

searching……………………………………………………………………
…………………searching…………………………………………………
…………………………………………..searching………………………..
………………………………………………………………………………....
………………………..SYSTEM CRASHED !!!!

(The results will come after few days. As for me…. I had messed up the Speaking section….. and the writing section too…. ummm…. I think the listening also…… Aaahhh leave it.)

Take two......

"Time is the healer...
Time moves on.....
Time don't wait for anyone..."
Nothing has stopped..... y should it.... there's no reason. We are moving ahead. Everyday is a new day. The bomb is still ticking... (methinks it didn't stop at the first place) .....THE DAY is approaching. Am I ready?..... well.....don't ask.
TOEFL ibt.
6 October.....2:30 pm........Vishakhapatnam.
.........tik tik tik tik...............
BTW ... this time I won't jump into the Bay of Bengal..... I'll definitely be back by 10th.
Take care
c ya

A mixture called...LIFE

We are born naked.... both....literally and otherwise. Like a glass of water... fresh,pure, uncontaminated. Our parents give our life the basic taste. A bit salty...lots of sugar..and some colors. As we grow... we make friends... and the color and taste gets modified with time. After considerable time... we acquire the taste and color which is characteristic of...Our Self. After that...we come to be known as of 'that' taste and 'that' color. We get defined.
Modifications continue, though. Every second that passes...every person whom we meet...every event that we witness.... affects us...in one way or another.most of them remain neutral... some accentuate the taste... and some are contaminants. The dirt, filth, rubbish..that we pick up in course of time.They can be anything... strained relationships....turbulent times... ill-fate.... misunderstandings... irresponsibility... shattered dreams... unfulfilled ambitions... crushed expectations.... failed love... anything. They are just unavoidable. After the initial turbulence they may be causing... slowly and gradually they settle down. As time weighs upon them... they are pushed down to the bottom. Sometimes we forget..mostly we ignore their existence. From the top it looks all clear... as if everything has evaporated. But they very much are there. We can ignore them... but we can't remove them.
Our best friend TIME helps us by pushing them deep inside. But ........
It takes only a moment to stir them up.... and it may take another lifetime for them to settle down again.

P.S.---> Cardamom.... I'll honour your tag soon.

Kal ho na ho....... so what?

“Hanso…muskurao…khush raho….
Kya pata … Kal Ho Na Ho…….”

‘Kya pata….. Kal ho na ho…. So……Live for today.’

Does this mantra really work?? Can we really live for today. It sounds very cool… “ I live for today….. who cares for tomorrow.” But doesn’t it only ‘sound’ cool… while it is actually not. If I don’t care for tomorrow…. doesn’t it mean that I am ignoring my responsibilities. Life is beautiful…. but in no way ….. simple. We just can’t live only for today. The comfort level hasn’t stepped up so high. There are responsibilities… on each of us…. and we have to take care of them. We have to think…..plan….. and design our , and the other lives connected to ours.

People of my age group are at a very critical stage. We have to take some very crucial decisions…. Decisions…. which will decide the course of our lives. Decisions…. which will affect many others in one way or another. So before jerking everything off…because Kal ho na ho…. think at least once …. What if Kal arrives at your doorstep and stares at you. Are you ready to welcome it?

Sometimes I wonder if Aman (the character in the movie) would have spoken the same lines if he didn’t know he was terminally ill.

Chale chalo....

Time files…almost literally. It seems just yesterday that I was slogging for JEE…and now… few more months…. and I’ll be done with my formal education. Officially.

I came here as a complete stranger…. another starry-eyed, unsure, apprehensive teenager. Today those stars have faded…the uncertainty has changed its appearance…. ‘teen’ is past….. things have changed. Nothing is permanent…you, me, he, she, this, that… nothing. The only thing permanent is CHANGE.

Let’s consider the past 12 months only. There have been many changes. Some in-your-face and some not-so-in-your-face.

I am a proud possessor of a mobile phone now. I blog now. I have found some friends courtesy this blogeteria. There always are constraints in one’s life. But then… they too have changed. Some equations have simplified…. Some got complicated. There have been happy times…as well as highly turbulent ones. And there have been great moments. Moments that will always bring smile to my face…. forever. Some friendships were strengthened…. some got bettered. Some ice were broken….. some feelings changed.

Last winter taught me how to have the ultimate masti with friends. Last summer taught me how to live without my friends. The beginning of 2006 reminded me that I can fail.

The middle of 2006 taught me to ho to come to terms with a failure.

Some time back I explored another dimension in my life.

Few things have remained the same though… like my height, weight, looks, etc.

All in all it was a good year. And it’s going great. The changes are always for the good, I believe. I am more happy, more confident, more smart (okay…that depends), more humorous (that again depends), more studious (naaaah !!!) , etc., etc., etc. And yes… an year older, too.

22 not yet OUT !!!.. I think I'll retire....... HURT [:D]

Ek baat bolein....Kuchh nahin

We were sitting...when one of us asked another to reveal how he had asked the all important question to his you-know-who. After a little bit of Taal-Matol... he revealed the secret. Then it was decided that everyone will have to tell his/her story. Start...One...Two...
Me ? Arey humari to koi hai hi nahin.
Phir bhi...kabhi kisi ko to bola hoga...albeit kat gaya ho.[ :))]
Nahin bhai...mera 100% success rate hai... 0 proposed...0 accepted. [a bigger waala :))]
Aaj tak kisi ko propose hi nahin maara !!! (*abe sab normal hai naa*)
Nahin bhai. (*ab kya sooli par chadha doge*)
Ok..next.
Actually I hate rejection. I mean..I don't know how I would react if I get rejected.... be it anything. So..unless I am dead sure.... things will have to wait. "Aisa hi hoon main"

Our first meeting couldn't have been more awkward. She said something.... I only stammered. As fate would have it...we got to interact more...and more...and more. And the more I interacted with her... the more I was overawed. I was ready for our relationship to be a mere formal one... but as far as I am concerned...Things have their own way. The ice was there...and it was there to be broken. It took quite sometime...but it did. At least I think it did. Our relationship (please take this word in the most general of sense) grew over time. Things started to be a bit informal. The first thing about her that appealed to me was her way of comporting herself...full of confidence... sheer Grace. Slowly and gradually.... everything about her began to appeal to me. Her voice... the way she stares at you sometimes....hands on waist and head slightly tilted... her million dollar smile... her dedication.... her uncomplicacy...her coolness... everything.
When we chat... I don't want to say 'bye'. When we talk... I want to talk endlessly. When I see her... I want the time to freeze. With each passing moment..her beauty quotient is rising .... linearly or exponentially...I dunno. Okay.... this is it.
This is my side of the story(which even I am not sure of). Things are entirely different on the other side...and I am dead sure of it. I don't know how down I lie in her list. I don't know if I exist in her list or not(me thinks I do exist). I can definitely tell her all this.... but for that I will have to take another birth. Things are closed this time. I wish a butterfly had fluttered 1-2 more times... so that things might have been slightly different. May be she won't know all this. May be she reads this post and understands. May be she doesn't understand even after reading. May be she won't believe. May be she wouldn't want to believe. May be she would come to know everything and talk to me straightaway. May be she won't let me know that she knows it. But nevermind. "Jo hota hai... acche ke liye hota hai."
I don't know what it is..... the only thing I know is that there's not even an iota of desire anywhere.... and that someday I want to hug her and say "Thanks dear... for being there."

Majboori ka naam..... understand yourself.

They say... The best comes out of you when things are not your way. I believe. And I have experienced. (It's an entirely different matter what you consider as 'GOOD') Whether this education system of ours tends to lead us astray from the 'Thinking Module' is a personal perspective...lets leave it as it is. May be the problem is with me.... but the fact is that...I can't memorise things...the parrot types. I am a to-be-engineer ... and NOT a to-be-calculator...for GOD's sake!!! But how does it matter to the system. It won't change for me. So there I was going to appear for the examination of a subject...which required....hardcore crammming up of formulae.... and too many of them. I was helpless. The questions were going to be like... you know the formulae.... everything will be given except one .... use your calculator.... and done. BUT.... BUT... BUT..... I said naa... I CAN'T MEMORISE. That would have meant..... A big ZERO.... in each problem. Adversity....right. I had to rely on my cerebral sleights. This is what I did...I mean I had to.... I wrote those formulae on the back of the chair in front. And to support myself.... I had kept chits in each fold of my hanky. The invigilators were kind enough not to roam around in the room all the time and I knew that. So.... tht's it.... I didn't get ZERO. And yes... I firmly believe in co-operation. So how did we co-operate? Thank God....they made the eraser white. We wrote..and we just passed on... in front of the 'watchful' eyes. Confidence people....confidence. It works wonders.
Another day.... another paper. The difference.... the hall contained some 150 students...10 invigilators...all in highly energised state... which forced them to circle around as if the neighbor's dog is chasing them. The result... the 'Hanky funda' wasn't going to work. I had tried to memorise... BUT..... So there I was....sitting in the hall....sans the formulae....wondering..... when..... EUREKA !!! So... I took the scale... wrote the question no. on it .... and peacefully kept it on the desk behind me. He took the scale... wrote the formula...returned......and yeppie..... I was sure...I won't get a ZERO. 1-2 questions later... same situation..... WANTED.... FORMULA...URGENT. Scale was done with. I HAD to find a new tool...and found I did. I had a pen with yellow and white stripes.... WHITE....mind you. And I had another pen. (did I mention earlier something like 'Thinking Module') Another answer received....few more marks secured.
Come next semester... I was more confident. My memorising power didn't improve though. So the no. of chits, I call them farras, increased alongwith the contents in each of them. I didn't get ZERO in any of them. Not to mention..the tables...which doubled up as writing sheets...and large ones too. As I told you that this 'Hanky funda' and the 'Rubber Co-opeation' doesn't work outside our department. And there I had a paper in another hall.... 150 students... 6-7 invigilators..... and no formulae to memorise. But as I had grown confident... I wanted to be on the safer side. So I went to the exam....Full sleeved.... full-buttoned. Underneath were written the algorithms....7 of them....yes..you heard it right.... 7 entire algorithms.... written in my arms..and legs too. The paper didn't require me to unbutton my sleeves...but nevertheless ... I was prepared.
Another semestrer passed the same way....only difference being that all the papers were in our department only. The Grades were out .... they were inversely proportional to the volume of the chits/farras.

The Moral of the Story..... 'Cheating' in an exam doesn't necessarily help. I am no more into 'Cheating'. BUT Wait..... 'Cheating' is a highly subjective term. For me.... 'Co-operation' is not a part of 'Cheating'. I have my mid-sems from 15th.

All the best to all the examinees.

C ya soon.

The Game continues.......

Nigaahein....The Return of Jewel Thief......Kaun Banega Crorepati Dwiteeeeeya .... The Great Indian Laughter Challenge Dwiteeeeeeya...Indian Idol 2.... Nach Baliye 2.....Krrish...Dhoom 2....Sarkar 2............so we thought.... why not Tedhi baat Dwiteeya...... after all.... Reh naa jaye baat baaki.
So after getting ample amount of Junta ka pyaar and encouragement......... the plot was conceived...the script was written...the casting was finalised...the locales were selected.... the director directed...the actors acted...the cameraman focussed(and defocussed)....the editor(s) edited.....and here I am .... presenting before u..... the sequel of Tedhi Baat....... Tedhi Baat Dwiteeya.( am I sounding like a film producer?.....never mind)
http://video.google.com/videoplay?docid=-4110588092323864882&hl=en
If you have some more time to waste...and if ur earlier wastage on such crap didn't force you to tear some of your hair......you can take the risk.
...........................................
BTW I dropped the plan to jump from Howrah Bridge while returning from the test center. Bahut high thaa yaar.....himmat hi nahin hui. GRE went so-so. I had closed my eyes after clicking "Report score". And when I opened them........
I am bold enough to declare my pathetic GRE score here.Thank you all for the wishes.....coz only due to them I am here....otherwise.... Height utna bhi nahin thaa Howrah Bridge ka.We 3 had even finalised the point of the plunge while going for the test. It was somewhere around the mid-point. Newayz..... Life's peace now. Words yaad kar kar ke pak gaye the. Inglees is a bhery phunny language....really.
khush raho bacchon.....
Eeshwarah yat karoti...shobhanam kar0ti.......(Sanskrit)
Jo hota hai acche ke liye hota hai......(Hindi)
everything happens for a reas0n.....(Angrezi)
..................................
P.S.-----> The video may take some time to open up.
Thanks again....
Take care.

...............Tik tik tik tik..............

I shall be back if I decide against jumping from the Howrah Bridge after seeing my GRE score.
5 SEP.... 1:00 pm .......Kolkata
The Bomb is ticking..............
Sayonara(.....kyuki............Kabhi Alvida na Kehna)

Miss...Communicate kiya kariye

10 minutes is what I asked for...10 minutes you couldn't spare. Plz don't try to explain as I won't understand. I created smthing.It may turn out to be non-watchable, not deserving even a first look...but lots of people...known & unknown...took the pain of watching it...not you. And there I wanted you to be one of the first persons to watch it. Is 10 minutes that huge an ask? Did I expect too much? Why weren't you the first person to loathe it...or applaud it(if it may so deserve)?
Plz don't tell me you didn't get time...Plz...I won't take that.
When you creat smthing, it becomes a part of you. You become very sentimental about it.So am I.
When a kid discovers an ugly stone in the sand pile and thinks that it is the next thing to diamond..he runs to each and every person he knows to show it.Some will appreciate his discovery..some will just pass it off....some will bullshit it. But what if one of his best friends didn't care to have a look at it? I am feeling the same.
Friendship is not only about being there in troubled times. Its about sharing good and bad times. You feel good if friends are there in tough times..but at the same time you feel bad if your friend refuses to be there when you had a liitle joy to share. At least I am feeling bad(the last sentence has been severely diluted).
Its been 3 days...and I am still waiting(I don't know why). But let me tell you...ur appreciation or abomination (if it may so happen) will go down as 'belated'..which could have very easily been avoided. I don't want to....but I fear I may stop expecting nethng from you.
You'll always be my best friend though.Take care.
...................................................................................................................
30 minutes after this was written...she called me(courtesy an idiot who blurted it all) and told me tht she had watched it yesterday itself.... and she somehow managed to forget talking abt it..and talked smthing else. What an Anticlimax....hai naa !!! So...here I am posting this post....feeling so very silly. Why do you make me act puerile, at times???
They say....."Little knowledge is a dangerous thing." I think...Mis-communication is far more dangerous !!!! wotsay ??

...................5 sep....tik tik tik tik tik................

Krishna Smiled......yesterday

Kambakht GRE is preventing me to frequent my Blogeteria :((
I wish these damn words could somehow be downloaded into my cute, little brain....temporarily bhi chalega..... koi 5 september tak udhaar de do yaar............
Newayz.......braving all my fears of going into depression...I gave my first mock GRE(verbal only) and since you r reading this post which is still making sense(hopefully)....I have not gone insane(yet).

Lets leave this adventure of mine aside for the time being...and concentrate on another.
One fine day during summers....B came up with the idea of making movies(short one..of course).
One fine day P bought a camcorder in US.
One fine afternoon an idea struck me.
One fine moment....we decided to go ahead.
Two fine nights....we shot.
Three fine days n nights (not at a stretch...though)...we edited.
One fine night..we were done with the job.
The same fine night...we released it on our Local Area Network.
The result is..... http://video.google.com/videoplay?docid=-7736090362338113
We managed to generate some hysterical laughters....some smiles...some 'Too Good 's.....some 'Okay 's....some 'Naaahhh 's.....some 'Absolute S**t 's.....and some 'F*** them 's.
The world didn't change...neither was it supposed to. But a dimension was explored...and I can say that....we didn't fail completely. There's more to life....and we are exploring a scintilla of it.
So...if you have some time to waste...u can waste it here.
And now that you have wasted your time.... you can answer this simple question: WHO AM I ?

Missing U Sis ........

Today is Raksha-Bandhan..... and I am missing my Sis a lot. This is the fourth time that we are not together on Raakhi and the first time that we both are out of home on Raakhi...and I am feeling terrible this time....I don't know why....may be because of the uncertainty hovering upon our lives at this moment. We don't know where would we be on the next Raakhi. This is the most critical year of our lives. She has posted her Raakhi...but I am yet to receive it...which I am extremely sincerely hoping to receive by today afternoon.
There's always something special about Raakhis. I really feel that we guys look smarter on Raksha-Bandhan. May be due to the fact that we endorse a great responsibility that day. And above all.... there's always something special sbout sisters. Every brother believes that his sister is the best in this world... So..with due respect to all the brothers in this world.... I, hereby, state that .."My Sis is the best in the Universe."
My sis is a year younger than me( a year and 3 days... to be precise). And she used to be half an inch taller than me when we were younger.... so it took her quite some time to grasp the fact that she was younger than me. The 'uncles' and 'aunties' who visited us and said.."Beti badi lagti hai" didn't help either. Anyways .... its a now accepted fact worldwide that I am elder than her. And this fact got so ingrained in me that I used to 'act' elder since time immemorial. She used to honour my share of mischiefs too. As we grew up...the already rare 'cat-fight' faded away. We became friends...and the best of them. Our relationship is sans the roothna-manaana stuff. We don't say that "I love U sis/bhaiya." Its understood and we know that. My mom sometimes wonders that why don't we fight like other brothers ans sisters..even occasionally. May be...because we didn't get an oppotunity :D .
As you now know...She did not consider herself younger than me. So whenever Dad was not there for dinner... his seat was occupied by her...No Questions asked...No Questions answered.
Whenever Mom used to force her to study..... Dad would come to her rescue. He gave her the ultimate free hand. Even today... while I go numb in front of Dad...she doesn't think twice in taking him on.... be it acquiring the TV remote... or changing the menu of the dinner.
She rules our home. When she is not there...silence drops in. In her absence...10 days proved to be a handful...the last time I was at home. She is the hearthrob of Dad, Mom and me. We all love her the most in this world.
As I am writing this...I am getting lost in the beautiful images of our childhood together.... the mini-fights...the conflict over our 'tiffin' menu....she always being late for the school bus... she eating more than she could take....she stealing achaar from kitchen and giving me a bit... just to involve me in the 'crime'..... she telling me to stop studying otherwise mom won't let her in the kitchen....she 'searching' for 20 minutes for a copy which was lying right in front..just to lessen the actual time of study..... she sleeping while I am explaining her doubt....the list is endless.
When she cries..no matter what the reason is..... I go weak. I just can't stand tears in her eyes.... it may be sounding 'filmy' but I realised it very recently. She is the apple of my eyes and the queen of my heart. This sums it all. Happy Raksha-Bandhan Sweety....Bhaiya Loves U.

---------------------------------------------------
Added Later :
I received my Raakhi in the afternoon. It's the most beautiful Raakhi I have ever tied. :)

Hum Dost aur Humare Dost

Hi .... I am AS a.k.a. Daroga..... and I had mentioned about my inner domain in my last post. Let's see who's in there...........
So.......Ladies and Gentlemen....presenting before u some of the best persons in this world...

AS....I call her D........ The most innocent soul I have met. She values friends a lot... and a lot means.... A LOT..... Her innocence smtimes scares me... but tht's the way she is... and tht's the most lovable part of her personality. When we are together..we r absolutely our true selves... We have our share of fights...the roothna-manaana stuff... but all these have made our friendship stronger...and if I dare say.... more spicy and colorful. I, AS a.k.a. Daroga , hereby accept that she is the only person other than my sis who have access to my lacrimal glands. She rules.

S.... I call him by his name... surprising.... but no nick for him as far as I am concerned. He is almost perfect antithesis of me. I don't like the kind of music he listens to...and vice-versa. He can talk endlessly on fone.... I go blank after 30 sec.... He calls me at 1 am to accompany him to canteen.... I don't...... He pampers me a lot... I don't (read: can't) . But He is there even before I need him... and I am at complete ease when I am with him. We have spent some high quality time together...prepared for our exams together... gave our exams together... talked about anything and everything ... dreamt together. There's a sense of security when He is around. Time passes real fast when He is around. To cut things short... I love Him.

S.... I call him Bangaali...... I have known him since I know friendship. He is my First friend... in every means....16 years.... and continuing...... He can die for friends.... literally. For Him...friends are the ultimate ones. He has landed himself in trouble n number of times....due to those 'supposedly' friends.... but He won't listen. We meet rarely due to our academinc schedules and since I m not much into the fone.... we r left with very little contact... but still our friendship has grown over the years..... We know tht we will do whatever we can for each other, when needed. With Him....there is always a sense of belonging.... He is a GEM.

AS... I call her AD....... I respect her more than I like her. Some of our wavelengths match to the 'T'. We r project partners and as a result of tht ....I have seen her work so religiously on any problem.... add to that her extra-acads....and she becomes Perfect. She possesses the most beautiful smile I have seen... I love her smile. Ours is not the usual, senti kinda stuff..except one or two instances ..may be.... but there is a great level of comfort when I am with her.

W.... I call them Wingies .... the people whom I live with. They r literally my wings... coz they have led me to so many unknown territories of masti, fun, time pass.... everything. I have done things that I never dreamt of.... all b'coz of them. My day-2-day life would never have been so much fun had they not been there with me. I owe them my boldness, attitude and confidence.

B... I call them Blogies....I never knew what I would write after the initial ideas with which I had started get exhausted. Then I met Raam Pyaari, Sunflower, Anu , Darsh... and others in this Blogeteria. I have not seen any of them.... but I know few things about them. I can connect to them.... and feel for them. They have made me more expressive.

So..... here are the people who are the best thing to happen to me yet.
HAPPY FRIENDSHIP DAY !!!

Overload !!!

U scrap smone by mistake.... since she happens to be a SHE....doing her MBA from one-of-the-top colleges of INDIA... she calls u a B******d..... U retaliate...... and tht becomes Cyber crime. GOOD.
Anyway...this just adds to my various mis-adventures....and I don't deplore any of them.
The last few days have been very 'happening' to say the least. I am forced to venture into the unknown, or rather.... long forgotten territory of Mugging/cramming/memorising....whatever u may like to call it... which is an integral part of preparation of GRE. It is taking its toll on me, but don't panic... I am at ease. I believe in beliefs....and I believe tht I can never be in load. So, whenever it occurs to me tht I am loaded...I diligently try to remove it. While I succeed in most of the cases, the unuccessful attempts involve my inner domain...having a head-count in single digit.
Apart from this forced tryst with unknown words, there are other events which affected me...but I can't disclose them here. Not that my blog is a world famous one...but still I will refrain from talking about them here. And this is due to the constraints of Time and Space.

Things have not gone smoothly since this semester has started. There were unexpected, and highly unwelcome, expenditures...My project work developed a glitch out of nowhere...I am forgetting words faster than light....My best friend is ill.... The dream of going abroad has become an obsession..... I have people commenting on me just-like-that....etc. All these have left me seething, disconcerted and highly anxious.

Actually I didn't have nething specific to write about. Well I do have few things to say...but they will constitute later posts. Today I just wanted to talk to you. This GRE thing isn't allowing me time for that also. Hopefully....I will be able to extract time for this favorite hang-out of mine. Happy days will be back again................5 September.................

Okay…. So courtesy Raam Pyaari …. I am Tagged!!! So here I go….

I am Thinking
About getting a good GRE score.

I said
I am able to write this post coz some 15 years back my Mamma dared to send me to the better school (of the two options available), against all the constraints.

I want
To take my parents and sister on a world tour.

I wish
I were a bit taller :P …. Baaki sab theek hai … ha ha ha

I miss
My sister a lot these days….. it’s not that it’s the first time we are out of home…but I miss her everytime since my final year has started.

I hear
The keyboard sounds against the background score produced by the fan with occasional inputs from the movie playing in the neighboring room.

I wonder
Despite having the best people as my friends, being with me all the time, why do I feel lonely at times.

I regret
Not saying ‘Congratulations’ properly to my one-of-my-best-friends when she got selected for foreign internship.

I am
Very anxious these days.

I dance
When I am partying with my friends, though that doesn’t happen much.

I sing
Mostly hindi songs….and I sing most of the time.

I cry
Extremely extremely rarely.

I am not
Sure what to write here.( the first response was ‘gay’ and the second was ‘attractive’)

I write
Coz I can’t speak them out.

I confuse
No one. Itni cali(read: caliber) nahin hai

I need
To be more confident of myself.

I should
React at the right time. (I often don’t)

I finish
Hoping that you will revisit my blog.

So….it’s my turn now….and I tag….

• Srikant(http://bloggingsri.blogspot.com/)
• Anu(http://itsanuzplace.blogspot.com/)
• Sun Flower(http://thesunflowerspeaks.blogspot.com/)

Njoy
C ya

What the HELL !!!

Theek se jaana beta
Mamma...ye baat to aap pilot ko boliye. Humko to jaa ke baith jaana hai bas...baaki uski marzi..ha ha ha
Mazaak mat karo
Accha Pranaam
Khush raho
And I left for the security check-ups and all. One hour later I was in the plane, seated. Inspite of being on the male version of the 16 Somvaari Vrat so that I could have a pretty girl seated next to me on my first flight, all I got was a businessman-like man by my side.
To be true, I was afraid and the 'man' was not helping my cause either. But I could not let it show. After all I was a young man....make it 'guy' if u wish.... going abroad to study....log kya kahenge. But 2 hours earlier.....

abe darr lag raha hai be
bhak saala..... kya baccha jaisa darr raha hai
saale...pehli baar plane mein jayenge
to kya hua...itna saara plane roz aata-jaata hai
to humko le ke thore na aata-jaata hai
abe 'that' first time ke time kya karega...he he he
abe 'that' first time ke liye 'this' first time ka successful hona bahut zaroori hai
ae kuchh nahin hoga...all the best

I closed my eyes..thinking of nothing...and then everything. I tried to cajole myself to be happy. The plane started to move. After few seconds some unusual sounds entered my eardrums. "C'mon...you are not 'used to' anything regarding take-off..this must be normal...keep quiet",I told myself. After a while the sounds grew harder and then the lights started flickering. "hope it's normal." The frequency and the amplitude were constantly increasing and I was already uttering "Jai Shree Raam" at a higher frequency. Suddenly the lights went almost off and then one bright flash...

It was all dark and quiet. I had always thought Black is Beautiful...not nemore. I felt my body...it was wet. "Must be blood", I thought....I was dead for sure. I saw a red light staring at me. Must be the Devil looking through the door of.....Oh My GOD.... I was in HELL !!! I knew I was not a good guy but I was not THAT bad. Newayz...it didn't matter. There I was ...... at the helm of HELL. I went near it, trembling. It had a frame of a small window. Of course... I shoudn't expect a Red-carpet welcome in HELL for God's sake....err....for Devil's sake. I looked hard at the door and saw a.... WHAT!!! The door of HELL had a door-bell !!! Bemused, I pushed it and there was bright light all over. I closed my eyes......and then I heard the first sounds of HELL...........
"Dekhte rahiye... zee news"

Phir se Normal

I am very happy. I am once again with my friends. Some of them are now 'foreign-returned' while most of them have simply returned. I am hoping that 'some' of my friends will bring me C++ (chocolates plus plus...ha ha ha ).

Once again I will be into the daily doses of 'wing'masti in our wing which we call "14 DTW waale"( for the non-kgpians.... 14 of us live in the Top West of D-block of our hostel....i.e. 14 D Top West waale). Once again I will pamper my wingies(though I end up at the receiving end most of the time :D). Once again we will be going on our wing treats. Once again we will be having our wing DCs i.e. Wing Disciplinary Committee(a post on that later). Once again there will competition to improve the Wing Department Ranks.

Once again I will be relishing Tandoori chicken with A&S.

Once again I will be discussing our project at Nescafe with AD.

Once again I will be in my department... un-studying.

Once again I will be with my guide...trying to explain myself...smiling all the time.

Once again I will be orkutting heavily.

Once again I will be cycling in the campus with all the sound effects associated with it.

Once again Life will be normal....and it never felt so nice to be back to normal.

20 din baad !!!

Fact : When my computer has even a minor glitch... I get upset. And when I am upset, I am khana-peena-chhor-ke-muh-phula-ke-baith-jaana types. And for the last week, I am terribly upset.
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Now forget the above fact and read on................................
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GS always says "kya yaar Daroga...tu phir philosophical ho gaya. Kuchh different likha kar yaar."
Yaar GS, it's not my fault. I was forced to sit in the front row when GOD was giving lecture on "How to be philosophical." Due to this I missed some important lectures such as "How to express anger" and "How to woo a girl."
Newayz.......my attempt to write something 'different' turned out to be a "Explicit content: Strictly for adults" thing(just now I decided against putting its link here). After that I decided to refrain from being different. Sorry GS.
Everytime I write a post... I read it 4-5 times and think..."This is my best post yet" and then read it 4-5 times all over again :D .Then the comments, literally or otherwise, come dropping by:
abe peeya hua tha kya jab ye post likh raha tha
abd hadd makhau hai be tera ye post
no comments
kya bakwaas likha hai be

As my heart takes its way on a crash-course, I hear(read):
mota....too good tha...mast tha(where r u?)
abe tu to master ho gaya hai be bolgging mein
abe tu to writer ban gaya be
aap next sandipan deb(kgp alumni outlook editor-in-chief) hone wale hain lagta hai...
I am now lying down on the floor, holding my heart and panting....coz of a mild, khushi ka heart attack.
And then comes the medicine:
good post
keep blogging
accha tha
nice
And I become normal. This is what I( and at least one person I know) call Convergence.

Actually this is my 13th post and I do mind a black cat crossing my way. So I thought a post aout posts will do as bachpan mein I had read a poem which went something like 'Poison kills poison.....'
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I told you naa... I am terribly upset.

One Half Chilly

Yesterday I didn’t eat a thing in sheer excitement of my training getting over …finally!!! So there I was …. @ 5 pm…..hungry but excited…. To hand over my report …get my certificate and…..end it all. One flash…. And it was gone…….. THERE WAS A POWER CUT IN TATA STEEL R&D JUST WHEN I WAS ABOUT TO TAKE THE PRINT OUT !!! ....I was more than a mere WHAT THE F*** . The failure was a major one and I had no option than to ‘agree’ to come the next day…..i.e. today for completing the formalities and all. Anyway … I left R&D … hungry and frustrated… for my restroom. All the day I had planned to treat myself with some Chinese delicacies at a roadside Fast Food Stall and I decided to stick to it. Only the reason for the treat changed from celebrating to venting out frustration. I ordered One Half Chilly (chicken chilly … I mean) and One Half Veg Chowmein to go with it. Now this particular order of mine was a bit too much for the man to handle it….. I knew it…and was more than willing to wait for the delicacies to arrive. I don’t know if it was out of frustration, or hunger, or mere anticipation, but I was staring at each and every bit of the Rolls/ Fried rice/Chowmein made with an intense, I-can-eat them-all-at-once look.

As I was biting my lips every time the person in front of me was taking a bite…. a poor( I mean literally) girl came with her mom. You know…. Every time I see these poor, unfortunate kids wandering on the roads, I can’t help but feel pity on them. I want to help them but as of now I don’t have the means. No….. That’s the hard earned money of my Papa and I can’t go doing charity around with that. The comfort level has not risen to that extent. So… the point is I can only feel pity and hope…against hope…that someone helps them. So there was that girl with a 2 rupee coin (I think….may be 1 rupee coin), given by her mom to get something for herself. If a mother doesn’t have enough money, she will overlook her child’s demand(s)….That is civilization…… And a mother who doesn’t have enough money, but with whatever she has … she asks for whatever she can get for her child…. Without giving a damn to what others would think…… That’s un-civilization …… WHAT AN EDUCATION!!!

I was seriously hoping that someone comes forward and gives the girl whatever little she demanded on his own account…… and to my surprise…. Someone actually did!!!
I was happy for the girl … and I had respect for the man. Things like these force me to hate myself when someone inside me says that I don’t like my countrymen.

When I would be earning…..even though not printing out currencies at will…. I will ensure that one unfortunate-to-be-born-to-poor-parents child gets a meal and he/she has a nice time enjoying it…. I PROMISE. I am keeping my vow to a minimum of one child-one meal because I don’t know if, when and how much I would be earning.

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BTW… my training is over now….and I will be at home tomorrow for the next 15 days or so.
See you soon.

The Don of Contooper Yeda

Computers, Information Technology, Future, Modern world, Cable TV, Mobile, Internet, e-mail…….Very common words now-a-days …. Right?? But not-so-long ago they were Dreams…. At least for me…. And this is how I had reacted to The Don of Contooper Yeda.... err..... The Dawn of Computer era.

Class IX….1998
I had gone to a friend…. in Officers’ Colony…. having a CABLE TV connection…. to discuss something for the debate to be held next week. It was around 5-30 pm. Barely few minutes had passed when she (okaayyyy why can’t a friend be a SHE!!!) started shouting… Jaldi karo mera STAR WARS aane waala hai.
And I was like…should I run for cover or what……WHAAATTT is STAR WARS??

Class IX (again)….1998
One day my friends decided to give each other nick names.
Ye Belanwaali….. ye Hateli….. ye Kajalbhai….
The one who was called Kajalbhai yelled….abe kya samajh k rakha hai
Dekha… hum to bole hi the ki tu kajalbhai hai
And in one corner I was wondering…… Have they really met some aliens?? MY GOD!!! They know their names too!!!

Class X…..2000
Mobile was always very fascinating …for everyone back in the late 90s. More so for me coz even the Cordless phones in some of my friends from Officers’ Colony seemed Magic!! I used to wonder …. I mean … HOW!!!
We were going to appear for Xth Board examination ( I don’t remember which paper it was). Out of sheer desperation… we went to a Temple near by to seek some last minute blessings. As we were returning… one of us (not me) was staring at something…. When we all looked in the direction…. We found a man talking on a MOBILE PHONE!!

A: Abe ye bangaali ko aur kuchh nahin dikhta hai
B: Tu to aise bol raha hai jaise roz saala phone pe baat karta hai
A: Abe iska matlab kya…. Aise dekh raha hai jaise pata nahin kya hai
B: Haan haan theek hai…hum dekhenge
A: Is sale ko to koi bhi mobile dikha k apne paas bula lega…bangaali saala
B: Aisa nahin hai
The rest: abe chalo yaar….exam shuru ho jayega. Thank god bangaali’s tongue wasn’t hanging out!!!

Class XII…..2002
We had to submit some project kind of thing in Physics and Chemistry. One day before the last date…. Some of them produced their reports….. neat …colorful… printed ….very nice.
Abe type kismein kiya??
Word mein.
Aur ye effect?
Abe ye bhi word mein. Dekh…..
I was like…. Are they talking in English?? What’s so special about WORD?? Everyone writes in words….for God’s sake !!! Finally I wrote…in hand…. Some 14 pages of my report(in words, of course)…. ‘designed’ the cover page ….. spent the whole night….and submitted the report next day. I was proud of my report.

After XIIth Board……2002
Mamma….. ab to12^th ho gaya…..ab e-mail id bana lein??
Ye kya hota hai?
Arey….computer se kisi ko mail kar sakte hain…matlab..chitti type ka….turant pahuch jaata hai…..aur abhi JEE etc bhi hai naa….kabhi kuchh zaroorat hua to unse baat kar sakte hain naa …. Bahut aasaan hai.
Accha theek hai.
AND I HAD MY FIRST e-mail ID…..

After JEE (mains) 2002 results were out…..
I was taking to a friend…… and asked his e-mail id…. More so that I can have someone to mail to!!!
Tu messenger kyun nahin use karta hai??
Abe ye kya hota hai??
Arey…. Blah blah blah jaana….. phir blah blah blah click karna…aur phir apne yahoo id se sign in kar lena…. Instant messages bhej sakte ho….. aur offliners bhi.
Acche dekhenge (totally disinterested)
I did not use messenger till August 2003.

Aaj mere paas 1 PC hai… Nokia 6600 hai…. 4 e-mail id hain…. 2 messenger hain….. 1 Blog hai…. 321 se zada ‘friends’ hain……. ..

…….Kabhi sapne mein bhi nahin socha tha yaar !!!

THANKS

Dear daroga speaks

Today I just wanted to talk to you. Actually I wanted to talk to you yesterday night itself but I was feeling sleepy (and not fine ….. somehow) and I lost to sleep. Newayz…..it doesn’t matter because I know you will always be there….exactly there……I don’t even have to look for you….for me.

First of all…..THANKS. Thanks for being there. I had always found it hard to speak up….nething….it just refused to come out of me. All the constraints of being a social animal used to scare the hell out of me….
“DON’T U DARE SPEAK….UNDERSTAND .”
“okay boss”

Not nemore. I have you now. You listen to all of my craps (and fantasies too ;) ) so honestly and patiently. You also act as my messenger. My friends…seen and unseen… talk to me through you.

I need you dear. I really do. You know... the mind is always full of thoughts…and in my case…. most of the times they don’t make sense. But still I need to blurt all those out…. somewhere ….. and we humans are too busy in our lives to have the time and patience to listen to such non-sense all the time. After all those Quiet years, you came to my life….with Light, Hope, Freedom. You became my voice. I am indebted to you…forever.

That day a friend had rightly pointed out that may be I suffer from Multi-Personality Disorder….. may be…..yes. I even know their names…can you believe it!!! One is…Adarsh, Daroga( ab to yakeen ho gaya naa ki you r my voice), babbuji/babu(for my family), bhaiya(for my sis), mota( for my close friends…BTW I m not that FAT!).

And the other is…..ME …just ME.

I know you can not easily distinguish between the two….. sometimes even I confuse!!! But after 3 months now….I think you can recognize them individually. But let me tell you….they both are extremely good actors and their favorite play is Main tu aur tu main…..so be careful !!!
Since I know both of them personally for the past 21(will be 22 soon) years…I can assure you that whoever is talking to you at a given instant will be true to himself as well as you. That’s guaranteed. They respect you as much as I do. And I can also tell you beforehand…. ME will interact with you more than the other one.

Hey…. I have a confession to make…….. I had publicized you till very recently. SORRY…… it was a desperate attempt to being heard. But it was not MY idea…..that moron called Adarsh used to do it. Can you believe ….. he used to send personal mssgs to his friends in Gtalk!! everytime we talked to you !!! How desperate one can become….GOD save him!!!
But don’t worry….. we have a deal now and from now on he will not shout from Mt. Everest at the top of his voice. From now on You are a friend…more than anything else. You gave me/us…….whoever…..the freedom of expression which I/we…..aaah…leave it….longed for so long. THANKS A LOT AGAIN……THANKS.

You know…. this letter would not make any sense to people because I am writing it in my most common state of mind…..you guessed it right……senselessly thought-full. Never mind…. I know u can understand.

I think I should stop now.

Take care( you take yours…and I will take care of that Adarsh :D)
Love you,
ME and Adarsh/daroga/…etc.

Aaj phir jeene ki tamanna hai...

Aaj phir jeene ki tamanna hai

Aaj phir udne ki khwahish hai

Aaj toofaan ko mehsoos karne ki iccha hai

Aaj phir kuchh kar guzarne ka armaan hai

Aaj khade hokar kehna chahta hoon ki “Hey World…..Here I am.”

Kuchh adhoora sa hai kahin

Aaj sampoorn hona chahta hoon

Aaj rona chahta hoon

Aur thori si peena chahta hoon

Aaj madhosh hone ko dil bekaraar hai

Mujhe dagaa mat dena ai aaj

Mujhe kal se tumhara intezaar hai .

Two Liives

Well….the EXTRAA ‘i’ is to avoid any charge of copyright violation what-so-ever.

I am living two very different kinds of life here at Jamshedpur. The first one begins at around 8:00 am IST when I enter Tata Steel Research and Control Laboratory. I have my own cubicle/desk(whatever u may like to call it) with a PC with an internet connection(freeeeeee!!!!). It’s entirely another matter that the PC is a P3 and in spite of its limited processing capability, it is courageous enough to run FLUENT(a very demanding software), GAMBIT(another demanding one), Orkut, Gtalk, Yahoo messenger and Winamp….simultaneously….without ever hanging despite being tortured by me like this for the past month. Poor thing doesn’t get to sleep even!!! It must be cursing me like anything….. but I can’t help it….sorry dear. And…Oh…I forgot to mention the AC dear….. it has no idea how much it is serving mankind !!!
So…this is my 1^st life… which ends at around 7 pm IST when I leave …but not before assigning my poor and helpless but ultra-courageous PC another Night-out task.

Then begins the more adventourous …2^nd life here as I reach my rest-room(in literal terms). It seems that the Electrical Power of Jamshedpur has taken it upon herself to avenge the merciless exploitation of her sister in I.I.T. Kharagpur. She really hates kgpians and she has got 2 months and 4 Kgpians to settle the score. So as soon as she sees me returning to my rest-room….she runs away. Don’t tell me that she has to serve another locality at that time only!!! Believe me…EPJ( Electric Power of Jamsedpur…yaar) enjoys harassing…. helpless and clueless …. we kgpians. When she is in a normal mood…she will elude us for about 1-2 hrs from around 9 pm IST … and when she is in a more playful mood, she will play hide-n-seek at night….. sometimes at midnight, and sometimes at 2:45 am IST !!! .....I told you naa…..she enjoys it a lot.

She has two very close friends who assist her in here revenge. One is the Rain……both of them will go on playing together for hours….and unless there is an S-O-S from the city itself….they continue their games. The other is The Mosquito…. the only creature other than Human Beings who love HUMAN BLOOD.

Normally two of the three attack us at a time but when all three of them decide to have a go on us…….it becomes “Survival of the Fittest” kind of thing!!!

These games of EPJ has relieved our landlord off the trouble of water pump.....One Handpump…..and it takes care of 10 families living in there.
Another key to survival is…....F*** Hygiene. I give my WBCs a hell lot of workout ….. in order to survive within the constraints of time, space, money and energy.

And I have survived one month now…..with another month remaining only!!! …which ….. Inshallah….. will pass on very soon and I will declare myself “Fit/Fitter/Fittest”…..whatever…. and return to my KGP….. survived……and a bit more learned…..AMEN !!!