I believe....

Yesterday(in chronological order)…..

Exams got over .
Got rejected by Company 1.
A friend back in school days called after 7 years.
Got rejected by Company 2.

“main roun ya hansoon……karoon main kya karoon”

Neways…. Let me tell you all a little incident. I was filling up the form for a company few hours before my exam in the department.

“a Adarsh Shekhar…”

He sounded like my batchmate…. So I didn’t bother to look up and almost blurted out “bol” but then settled with a “hmmmm”

“You don’t have exams today?”

Why is he asking that?? I looked up and…… to my utter surprise …. He was my Supervisor.

Moral of the story: EYE-BELIEVE.

Talking about beliefs….. all of us believe in one thing or the other. In lay-man’s vocabulary… Superstitions. More often than not there aren’t any reason but yes….. people do believe…. Some feebly….some very strongly (jai (k)ekta maiyya ki)

I am also one of them…… gradually shifted from the strong domain to the weak one.

Over the years…. I have had many superstitions. But ‘due to unavoidable circumstances’, I had to let go of them sometimes. Let me recall some of them….

1. I don’t shave during exams. The latest exception was on my 22^nd Birthday (Birthday tha yaar…..). I think this harms me a great deal. When everything goes fine, enter the bloody exams….. I appear (accidentally or not) before my probable GFs in my jhingalala avatar and then…. FULL STOP.
2. I give all my exams in the same set of clothes. [All my exams == all papers of a particular mid-sem or end-sem.] I have a particular set of formals… in which I have given my 2^nd JEE, GRE, TOEFL…. a mid-sem /end-sem sandwiched in between.
3. I used to do a mini-puja , with agarbatti and all, before exams till my second year at IIT. This is not exactly a superstition but I used to start the sequence of bath-puja-dress-lunch-exam at approximately the same clock-hour before each paper. I still follow the same sans the puja.
4. Apart from exams, the other thing in which I followed some superstitions was CRICKET + TEAM INDIA. [The recent run of Team India is responsible for the previous sentence being in the past tense]. Here also my superstitions were restricted more or less to my dress. During the World Cup 2003, I changed my dress after India lost to Australia in the league (actually I didn’t mind changing my dress after that match) and watched all the remaining matches of my team in the same dress. It worked you see….. India won 8 consecutive matches except the Final. ( I never claimed that superstitions always work :P ) That was my contribution to Team India’s campaign in the World Cup.

In the late 90s this belief of mine was stronger. I remember sitting in the same posture till India won in a match in 1998 (I can give you the details but all of you would not connect to it).

Another instance that I remember is when Australia toured India… 1996 or 1998… I don’t remember now. I watched the first match (that India won) in a pink half-shirt. On the day of the next match, my mom forced me to have a hair-cut and she was prepared to wash that shirt too. I tried hard … but you know how moms are. I had to go. But I couldn’t let my team lose just like that. So I returned from mid-way and told mom that some dogs chased me and I couldn’t go further.I couldn’t save the shirt from being washed but yes… I managed to save some luck for my team by not cutting my hair. I was a good fan … you see.

So these are some of the few superstitions that I follow(ed). And I, hereby, TAG all of you to share some (I won’t mind All) of your superstitions…..hee-haa-haa-haa.
Okay….its on your wish but Godiva, Darsh and Cardamom are officially Tagged.

I am waiting……
C ya

end? ... not really

Have end-sems ???
have a break..... have a kit-kat or dairy milk(my favorite) or 5 star(again my favorite) or nething your favorite.
c ya after 24th.
till then....
be happy (not that u shudn't be after 24th though [:)])
be cool
be calm
be everything one shud be
and most importantly...
be Your Self.
and of course....
Keep Smiling :)
Milte hain break k baad :P

Circuit ..... in and as....

You must be kidding if you are an Indian and you don't know circuit !!
For everyone else: Sorry folks.... I felt this language suited the best.
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CIRCUIT :Kya Hero …. Kaisa chal rahela hai sab?

HERO : sab theek hai yaar.

CIRCUIT :aur Heroine??

HERO : ------------------------------------------------

CIRCUIT :abhi samjha. Heroine k waaste aisa sookhela baigan maafik shakal banayela hai.

HERO : chhor na Circuit.

CIRCUIT :bol de bidu. Wo …. Bole to….. aisa type ka baat ko dil mien nahin rakhne ka…khaali peeli bheje ka weight badhta hai. Chal bol. Apun tera friend hai re.

HERO : ------------------------------------------------

CIRCUIT : abe bol naa. Abhi saala apun ko nahin bolega to kisko bolega.

HERO : yaar…. Aaj mera career ka itna important screen test tha. Select ho jaata to career kahan se kahan pahuch jaata. Last round tak select hua.

CIRCUIT : (mouth wide open) Phir….

HERO : phir nahin hua naa.

CIRCUIT : (ghoda haath mein) tu naam bol us screen-tester ka. Abhi saale ko 6/1 se 2/3 karta hai apun.

HERO : nahin yaar…. Usko main nahin pasand aaya hoonga. Rehne de. Baat wo nahin hai.

CIRCUIT : To phir…..? abe itna time kyun leta hai tu….. express mein bol naa.

HERO : bolne do naa yaar. Hadd hai. Select nahin hua to dukhi to hoonga naa. kitne din se mehnat kar raha tha. saara kaam-dhaam chhor ke. Sab khatam hone k baad usko fone kiya…. Socha ki thora baat karoon…apna dukh baatoon….bol…kuchh galat kiya?

CIRCUIT : nahin

HERO : aur fone par kya sunta hoon….ki uska kisi friend k saath jhagda ho gaya hai…. Wo bahut dukhi hai….main select nahin hua…isse koi matlab nahin hai. Apni friend ki padi hai. Ye kya baat hai.

CIRCUIT : Abe bas itni si baat??

HERO : itni si baat nahin hai yaar. Ye to ek episode hai. Baar baar aisa hota hai. More often than not…jab bhi I needed her…. Wo nahin thi.har baar uski apni problems rehti hain. Har baar usi ko shikayat rahti hai ki time nahin de paa raha hoon. Mere bare mein kyun nahin sochti wo. Mujhe nahin chahiye aisa relation. Main akela hi theek tha yaar. At least kisi se kuchh expect to nahin karta tha. Kya zaroorat thi saala ye sab mein padne ki.

CIRCUIT : tu ne baat ki usse?

HERO : mujhe nahin karni. Nahin chahiye kuchh.

CIRCUIT : a hero… tu wo saala …… over-react kar rahela hai. Ek baat bata…. “I love U” bolne ka pehle itna socha tha?

HERO : tab ki baat aur thi circuit. Tab to…

CIRCUIT : apun ka question ka answer de. Socha tha itna ??

HERO : nahin

CIRCUIT : to phir ab kyun soch raha hai? Jab saala sochne ka time tha tab to sapno mein udi maar rahela tha. Abhi saala jab real mein aaya to baith k ro raha hai.

HERO : lekin…

CIRCUIT : apun abhi finish nahin huela hai. Sun chup-chap. Ye jo tu baniye ka maafik len-den ka baat kar rahela hai naa… ‘usne mujhko kya diya’…. ‘maine usko kya diya’ ….. abe dukaan khol k baitha hai kya? Apun yeda hoga… but love apun bhi kiyela hai….. ya bole to … apun ko bhi love huela hai. Apun Maria ko love karta hai. Bas. Baat udharich khatam. Apun hisaab nahin lagaata hai ki Maria apun se kitna pyar karti hai ya Maria apun ko kitna ghanta time deti hai. Agar kal ko apun se 2 kidnapping miss ho gaya to apun kitna dukhi hoyega… lekin agar us time Maria bolegi mere ko jhumka la k de… to apun layega… 2 baar sochega nahin. Ek baat bolta hai apun… concentrate se sun-ne ka….. jis din tera khud ka…. Wo kya bolte hain tumlog ka language mein….. haan…. self….. jis din tera self uske self se upar aa gaya naa…. Tabhi samajh lena ki chemical nahin…. Mental locha ho gayela hai.

Kal agar Maria apun ko pehchaane bhi nahin naa… tabhi bhi apun usko utna hi love karega. Apun love karne se pehle naihn socha kuchh… he he …saala kuchh pata hi nahin chala tha ….. he he…… to phir kabhi nahin sochega. Arre maamu…GOD ne tumko dimaag aur dil alag alag diya hai….. to alag alag use karne ka. Sochne ka kaam dimaag ko karne de…. Dil ko sirf LOVE k waaste reserve mein rakhne ka. Phir koi locha nahin hoyega.

Tu ne ek baar socha ki wo kab se dukhi hogi? Ho sakta hai wo bahut din se dukhi ho aur tere ko kuchh nahin boli ho kaahe ki tera screen test kharab na ho jaye…. Socha tu aisa kuchh? Poochha usse kuchh?? Bas… idhar baith k question-question khel raha hai saala. Ye pyar nahin hai maamu. “I Love U” bolna bahut aasaan hai…. “I Love You” maintain karma bahut mushkil.

Tee-taa-taa-too-ti-taa-tee-taa-too-ti ……. Le baat kar usse.

Shekhar....... Daroga Shekhar

I don’t think anyone except my batchmates in Patel Hall of Residence, IIT Kharapur knows why I am called Daroga. Many have asked me and its time now to oblige. But before I begin, let me caution you…. If you read the content below hoping for a mystery a la The Bermuda Triangle to be revealed, you will certainly be very disappointed. So my advice is… read it… just read it…. without any kind of expectation whatsoever.
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20^th July, 2004
I entered Patel Hall of Residence at the beginning of my 2^nd year. ‘I was terrified’ would be an understatement ‘coz Patel Hall is the most notorious and therefore infamous Hall in Kharagpur. Any Kgpian would testify that. After the initial week of peace as in calm before the storm, all the 2^nd years were subjected to what is called ‘Orientation Programme’ (the Kgp lingo for you-know-what). I am not going to divulge the details here…. you people are smart enough.

So as part of the ‘OP’… we had to play footer in the evening. The whole batch was divided into two and 7-8 players were selected to play. The rest cheered for their team… and bullied the opponents and their supporters… all verbally. And the seniors would watch the fun from the 1st n 2^nd floors, occasionally pouring buckets of water on the supporters to enhance the fun.
It was one of those evenings. I was happily (?) cheering my team when one of the seniors asked one of us to ‘invade’ into the other camp.

“Kaun Jaayega??” (Who will go?)
We all looked up and my eyes met with his.
“Tu jaa. Abe... isko ghusne mat dena” (You go. Don’t allow him inside)
So I went. I mean… I had to. After few seconds of hustle and bustle, I decided to use gravity to my use. However strong a guy might be… if you let ** kgs of weight on him just like that…. he will fumble. I did just that…. the weight was my own. The 4-5 guys in the front fumbled and I was in………victorious.

“Bahut sahi. Ab udhar se.” (Very good. Now from that side)

The poor guy from the other side failed.
After the match we were all lined up. That senior asked me to pull down the shorts of any one of my batchmates !!! Again …. I had to. I looked around for a guy who would not thrash me up later… and I found one. With great hope that he had an extra layer of protection on, I closed my eyes and…………….

“Sorry yaar” (in whispering mode)

“Abe bahut sahi. Tu aaj ka champion hai. Aaj se tera naam Daroga.” ( Excellent. You are today’s champion. From today your name is Daroga.)The name stuck….just like that.
Today I am known as Daroga in Kharagpur. It feels strange if someone calls me Adarsh in my Hall. (Abe… naam nahin pata kya) (Don’t you know my name)
So that’s it. This is how Daroga captured Adarsh.

P.S. ---- For all those who don’t know…. Daroga means Inspector.

Run time error

The last thing I remember is that I have been walking. And I am still walking. It seems years, but it may very well be ages. Am I tired?? Certainly Not. I think I have just started. I can't get tired... at least not now.... for I have to retain my energy... I'll need to run later. I wish I could fly. There's my destination....right in front of my eyes.... The Horizon..... where land and sky meet. Yes, I want to get there. I want to step into the sky. Enough of this land. No, I am not fed up. Its just that I want to explore the world above. The sky has always fascinated me... and now I am on my course to feel it.
I think I have planned my journey well enough. There's still a lot of energy left in me to take me through. I think I can run. I think I should run. Yes, I WILL run. I can't wait to get there.
I am running. I heard someone say "O my GOD... He's sprinting !!!" May be I am. I need to get there as soon as possible. I can see the horizon approaching. Yes....I am nearing. Few moments.....one leap..... and I'll be in the sky. How would I feel then?? On Top of this World.... Absolutely ecstatic. But there's a distance, though little, that still needs to be covered.
Am I tired?? Physically... Yes. Mentally..... as fresh as ever. Will I be able to reach there?? Of course .... YES !!! Its right in front of my eyes. There it is... the beautiful sky.... all azure and so very pure. And I can also see the land....... wait a minute......... the land COMING TO AN END ??? I mean.... how?? Tbey said land and sky meet at the horizon. No one told me about the huge gap that is staring at me now.
Should I stop?? I don't know.
Can I stop?? I am unable to !!!
Was it the right path?? It doesn't matter anymore.
Is there anyone behind me?? Absolutely No one.
Did I make a mistake.... I think I did. I should not have sprinted.... for I can't stop now. I think I was better off ..... W........A.......L........K___________ .
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The last thing I remember is.......falling. Its been all WHITE since then.

What if?

"to... baat kahan tak pahuchi?"
"arrey kuchh nahin yaar.... "
"kya kuchh nahin.... sach sach bol... feelings hai ki nahin?"
"mmm.... haan hai"
"phir.... bol de jaa ke"
"hatt.... abhi thore naa.... lets see where it goes. jaldi kya hai"
........................................
I could not define the 'feeling'. I needed time to understand what it exactly was. Then one day I got to know that she chose someone else.
"Oh great !!! so..... sab pakka?"
"abhi nahin.... we need sometime... but yes... we are working on it"
"Humlog se baat karna band to nahin karegi naa"
"Agar usko kharaab lagne laga to...."
I was having the toughest lunch of my life till date. I had to use all my self-control to prevent myself from breaking down. I didn't know what kind of feelings I had for her.... but at that time I felt like a BIG loser.
I came back to my room.... with a maelstrom in my mind. I didn't even know why was I reacting so vigorously. All I knew was.. I was restless.
I asked myself....
"What exactly do you want"
"to be her very very good friend"
"sure?"
"mmmmmmmm............... ya"
"then where's the problem? ..... be with her .... everytime she needs you.... make her smile all the time.... enjoy whatever time you are together..... tht's it. .Is there nething else you want?
"No"
I was feeling much much better the next morning.
......................................................
Almost two years hence... we are the best of friends. We have spent some precious time together.... been there for each other in difficult times. And yes... we have also fought... at times. I am very happy with her as one of my best friends. Few mothns from now... our lives will be taking different courses. But before that.. we'll make all the moments left.... Memorable ones. I had grossly mis-interpreted those 'feelings' .... or better to say... I had 'wanted' to mis-interpret them. But you see.... GOD is kind.