What if?

"to... baat kahan tak pahuchi?"
"arrey kuchh nahin yaar.... "
"kya kuchh nahin.... sach sach bol... feelings hai ki nahin?"
"mmm.... haan hai"
"phir.... bol de jaa ke"
"hatt.... abhi thore naa.... lets see where it goes. jaldi kya hai"
........................................
I could not define the 'feeling'. I needed time to understand what it exactly was. Then one day I got to know that she chose someone else.
"Oh great !!! so..... sab pakka?"
"abhi nahin.... we need sometime... but yes... we are working on it"
"Humlog se baat karna band to nahin karegi naa"
"Agar usko kharaab lagne laga to...."
I was having the toughest lunch of my life till date. I had to use all my self-control to prevent myself from breaking down. I didn't know what kind of feelings I had for her.... but at that time I felt like a BIG loser.
I came back to my room.... with a maelstrom in my mind. I didn't even know why was I reacting so vigorously. All I knew was.. I was restless.
I asked myself....
"What exactly do you want"
"to be her very very good friend"
"sure?"
"mmmmmmmm............... ya"
"then where's the problem? ..... be with her .... everytime she needs you.... make her smile all the time.... enjoy whatever time you are together..... tht's it. .Is there nething else you want?
"No"
I was feeling much much better the next morning.
......................................................
Almost two years hence... we are the best of friends. We have spent some precious time together.... been there for each other in difficult times. And yes... we have also fought... at times. I am very happy with her as one of my best friends. Few mothns from now... our lives will be taking different courses. But before that.. we'll make all the moments left.... Memorable ones. I had grossly mis-interpreted those 'feelings' .... or better to say... I had 'wanted' to mis-interpret them. But you see.... GOD is kind.